The Host
by soraroxas37
Summary: My heart shattered into million pieces. I don't know the answer anymore. after that kiss all I could do was decide, because they were suffering because of me. Feelings are a confusing thing in this planet, in this body.


_**P R O L O G U E** _

_**Change**_

_**Wanda's POV**_

I was running really fast. I was really surprised how long I could endure running this distance … but there was_ no _time to wonder how did I do that, I have to reach _him _first, I'd hurt him and I don't even know what I will say to make it right again -maybe it won't be right anymore- but … all I know was that I _have _to find _him_.

_**"Wanda?"**_

_**I'll know that voice anywhere, because since the last two years I've heard it every day. It made me happy each time my ears perceive the sound of it again because I knew him too well. He was tall, with dark red, curly long hair, his skin was translucent white; 'like the snow' Melanie had said once, he had two beautiful light green eyes with the silver ring around the pupil, like every soul had to have; and he wasmy best friend ... Burns Living Flowers from the Fire World. But we called him Burns in affection.**_

_**"Yes Burns? Do you need something?"**_

_**"Um … well actually, yes, I need to ask you something. Do you think you can answer me with only the truth?" this made me curious, not just for the kind of request, but for the nervousness in his voice, so I looked up at him, and stared at his eyes. Yes, there was some anxious and nervousness in there. I can read him like an open book.**_

_**"Only if I know the answer" I told him. He was quite for a long minute.**_

_**"Do you ...?" he hesitated for a moment; I waited patiently until he spoke again.**_

_**"Do you really ... love Ian? I mean, do you think that it's true love?"**_

_**I was speechless. Of course I love Ian, he was my partner before I even knew it, and he was destined to be with me. Of course, I wanted to say, but none sound came from my mouth. We stared at each other and then he sighed. "Um … sorry," he told me embarrassed, I could see some blush spread in his face. "It was a stupid question. Of course you do." he looked down, grief in his eyes, and he started to get up. I don't know why I did the next thing, I wasn't even thinking, my body, my heart reacted for itself.**_

_**"Wait!" my lips moved immediately and my hands grabbed his arm. He looked at me, wonder in his eyes and then … I kissed him. His body responded automatically at my unspoken answer. He grabbed me by my waist and pulled me close to him, I carried my hands slowly to his chest and then I reached for his neck. Meanwhile his hands were burning me, his lips were burning mine, there was fire in all of us, and in that moment I knew I was his. How could I not see that? Was i wrong before when I thought Ian was my only one partner?**_

_**While I wondered that, the sound of a gasp reached my ears. I moved quickly beside Burns and I felt how my heart flustered against my chest.**_

_**There, in the shadows of the corridor, stood Ian, with his trembling mouth hanging open, his hands that once were soft, were clinched into two rough fists, and his deep blue gentle eyes were nowhere to be found, instead I just saw two cold-like-ice, wide eyes and a tear hanging in one of those midnight spheres.**_

_**And then, all was just a blur. Ian started to run into the dark corridor and I just followed as fast as I could while Burns shouted my name.**_

_Ian, Ian, Ian, where are you?_ I thought frantically. I needed to find him, I needed to talk to him, I needed _him_. My body couldn't keep running any longer, my legs were in pain and my lungs begged for air. I really hate this body, it was so weak, but I wouldn't stop, not until I found Ian.

I kept running for a while, searching in all the rooms, checking the kitchen, the hospital, anyway, the entire location. And then it hit me, there was only one place I hadn't still searched, the unique place I hadn't been in two years since I came here. The storage area. I pulled myself quickly to where I believed Ian was.

While I run, I could see the curios and confused faces that passed past me: Lily and Trudy were chattering animatedly eyeing me with curiosity. Kyle was resting in the wall with Sunny at his side, Kyle surprised that I could run fast and Sunny confused. At first it was hard to believe how Kyle could be so soft to Sunny, but then I get used to that and looked how cute those two were together. This caused me a fierce, aching pain. And the delicate heart in my thin chest shuddered. It made me cry silently for Ian and how happy we looked together. That was yesterday, when we were in love, kissing and hugging each other, but now he was heartbroken and I … and _I_ … how was I? Was I in love with _someone_ else? With Burns? Was I feeling guilty for Ian or for Burns? Why was I chasing Ian? Was it because I love him too? But … like _what _do I love him? And then my chest was burning again and I stopped abruptly in the dead corridor. I stomped in the floor and began to gasp for air. My heart was aching and I felt that how my eyes were wide with realization.

_I loved them both._

It was like when I was in Melanie's body but now, it was so much confusing, because _I, _not Mel, but _I _love them. Nobody was putting memories in my head of neither Burns nor Ian. It was _me_, just me, _my _memories.

So I pulled myself up and started running again, searching for Ian, suddenly it was clear what I _have_ to do. The solution to the problem was just under my nose and I finally have found it. _Just one more and I'll be there_ I thought while I reached for the last corridor. At that moment, something was telling me that this wasn't right but I put that aside and run. Finally I arrived at the tunnel that turned back on itself in a V and I could hear the soft sobs of Ian, tears round down my face and fell in my shirt. I tried to be silently as could but my attempt was useless. He stopped abruptly when he heard my footsteps and I looked down when he recognized me.

"Leave me alone Wanderer, I don't want to see you." He said trough clenched teeth, a sharp tone in his voice that once was calm and sweet. It made him sound like his brother, Kyle. "Please let me talk to you … I'm really sorry Ian … I … I didn't mean to do t-that to you," and I started crying. Crying for _him_, for me, for my confusing feelings, for all the things I could _not _decide.

I heard Ian sighing and get up to his feet, his footsteps echoed in the little cave. I gasped when I felt how his arms curled around me and how his lips moved to my left ear. I could hear his breathing, it tickled me, but I couldn't laugh, just cry.

"Shh … No Wanda, don't cry, it was not your fault, I bet he kissed you without your permission, right?" he whispered. I felt numb, I couldn't tell him lies, I _wouldn't_, so I just sobbed harder. "Right, Wanda?" his voice trembled, alarmed, he wasn't furious, but he was in a deep pain, and that put me in pain too and I started crying and sobbing while he just cried silently there in my ear. I felt how warm tears fell in my neck and slid through my shoulder.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry …" I whispered, shame in my voice, "I just realized this now, I love _you,_ but-"

"But!?" he stopped me anxious.

"I love _him_ too; I know this isn't fair for you, Ian so … I will be not with you anymore. I have to understand my feelings and make up my mind, so I can decide. Sorry, sorry, I'm really sorry. Please forgive me and … I know what I'll ask you is stupid, but please, listen: if it isn't hard, do you think… you can wait for me?" _shameless Wanda_ I whispered in my head and then soft lips pressed mine and I felt how my heart was shattering in microscopic pieces inside of me. Ian pulled away and stared into my eyes. Even in the darkness I could see how his eyes reflected the pain and the love from his heart.

We stared at each other for a long minute and then he sighed. "Of course, Wanda, take your time, I'll be always waiting for you, even if you choose Burns. I just want _you_ to be happy. I will be _always_ here for you" he pressed his lips in my forehead and wiped my tears. He stared into my eyes again and repeated. "_Always._"

I couldn't stand it anymore so I buried my face in his chest and sobbed, and cried hard because I knew it was wrong what I was doing. This was an error, and I couldn't do anything to _change_ it again.. So I continued crying in Ian's chest, whispering useless apologies while he stood there comforting me, wiping my tears and supporting me, like he had promised just a minute ago.

* * *

**I DON'T**** own ****"THE HOST"**** by:**** Stephenie Meyer****, neither have I owned the design. I just own ****THIS**** fanfic.**

If you had read the book then you'll understand the story, but if not go and enter this site for an explanation:

I think this could be a good continuation; again **I** invented **this** fanfic **no **Stephenie Meyer.

_I hope you like it, I worked hard in this one and it was inspired by many songs like:_

_The reason by: Hoobastank_

_I hate this song by: Secondhand Serenade_

_It's not over by: Secondhand Serenade_

_Say Goodbye by: Skillet_

_All these things I hate by: Bullet for my Valentine_

Well thanks for reading and please **review** so I can continue with the story.


End file.
